On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
