Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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