I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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