I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
