I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
