Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
