my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
