My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
