There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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