Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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