Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
