You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My balls are so social today.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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