Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
