So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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