Having a random hookup so left but love u
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
