Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
