I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
