Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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