well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I didn't notice because vodka
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
