would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
