i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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