Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize