just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
