I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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