Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
