i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
