Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
