WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
