I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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