dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
