is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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