Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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