So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
