I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize