WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
