what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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