Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
