It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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