guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
