jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
