...so i touched it.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
