i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
