I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
