his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
