worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
