coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
