I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
