they need to just BURY HIM!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
