Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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