you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
