At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You were trust falling into bushes
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