i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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