At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
