I didn't shave. On purpose
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
