I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
