so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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