you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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