with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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