I bet he comes in French.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
