Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
