____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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